


More Than Memories

by jotunheiny



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Angst, BAMF Mary Winchester, Death Threats, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humor, M/M, Multi, Physical Abuse, Sabriel - Freeform, Samifer - Freeform, Secret Relationship, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Titanic AU, Tragedy, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3342422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jotunheiny/pseuds/jotunheiny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not often that you meet someone who has the ability to turn your world completely upside down. Someone who taught you things you didn't know were possible. Someone who showed you that it's the simple things in life that are important, like the rising of the sun or the stars in the night sky. At least is wasn't that often for Sam Winchester. It was April 11th, 1912 when Sam met him on the RMS Titanic. Him being the most daring, remarkable, and fearless man Sam ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. One day. One goddamn day. That was all it took for him to fall hopelessly and helplessly in love with Gabriel Novak. Sam remembers it like it was only 4 hours ago, though it really had been 54 years on this very day. Sam was much older now. He'd forgotten a lot at 71, but he would never forget the Ship of Dreams and how it changed his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My best friend encouraged me to write this after we discussed how awesome a Sabriel-Titanic fic would be. 
> 
> Some Destiel will be featured and some Samifer. This will be a two part series. The next one will be about Destiel with some slight Sabriel and it will be titled Maybe We'll Make It After All.
> 
> Sam and Dean are not brothers in this. I wanted to do something different rather than have the whole 'two brothers fall in love with two other brothers at the same time' stuff and whatnot. Same with Gabriel and Castiel. Sam will stay a Winchester, Dean will be a Milligan with Adam as his brother. Gabriel will be a Novak and Castiel will be a Milton. 
> 
> I enjoy writing this story so I hope those of you who read it will enjoy it too.

Sam Winchester stared wide-eyed at the ship in front of him. Huge didn't even begin to describe the Titanic. She seemed to stretch on for miles and miles, never stopping. Waves crashed against her hull  
"Isn't it just magnificent?" Sarah exclaimed.  
Sam grinned linking arms with his fiancee, following behind his mother and father.  
"This is extraordinary. We're soon to set sail towards America on the finest ship ever built and we'll be wedded in 3 weeks. Can you believe it Sammy?" Sarah rejoiced.  
Sam turned towards her and gave her his best smile. "I can't wait." She smiled proudly at him and squeezed his arm. Sarah was a wonderful woman. She was intelligent, beautiful, caring, and much more. She was everything Sam could have ever wanted had he wanted her. You see, Sam wasn't exactly as straight as they come. In fact, Sam Winchester was a homosexual. It wasn't something he was proud of. He was taught practically from birth that homosexuality or anything relating to that is an abomination. It was a man and woman's job to reproduce and populate the world. A man couldn't possibly reproduce with another man, nor a woman with another woman. It all sounded idiotic and hateful to Sam. People should be allowed to love freely regardless if they can reproduce together or not. According to his father, homosexuals were demon possessed and deserved death. So naturally he wouldn't be able to come out to his father. Sam knew his mother, Mary, wouldn't care. She'd only care whether or not he was happy, but John? John would murder Sam on the spot. He'd take his gun and splatter Sam's brains all over the walls, as horrifying as that sounds. That only added to his lack of confidence in himself and made him wish more than ever that he could feel an attraction to women. He knew it was completely useless to try and like women though. It only made him desire men that much more. The entire ordeal was bullshit to him though. Why was anyone's sexual preference of any importance? And why should he have to live his life pleasing others and not himself? Lucky enough for him, no one but God and himself knew his secret and he planned to keep it that way. Sam would lose everything he held close to his heart if anyone were to find out and it get back to his father. The hard truth was that Sam had no choice but to obey his father's commands. John made it clear to Sam that he would not inherit the family fortune if he didn't marry a woman of his choice and take over the family business, being his father's law firm. Sam agreed and shortly after, his father matched him up with his childhood friend, Sarah Blake. She was the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in all of England. It could've been worse though. Sam loved Sarah, but it was definitely a platonic kind of love.  
"Are you alright, Sammy?" Mary asked.  
"I'm fine. Really." He replied in a tone that clearly said otherwise.  
Mary looked at her son with uncertainty, but didn't push any further. Sam figured she'd ask again later once they were away from his father.  
The family of four finally boarded the ship and made their merry way towards their suites. As luxurious as the ship was, Sam couldn't shake the sinking feeling in his gut. Something wasn't right and he prayed he'd never find out what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

"Would you like to join me out on the deck? We could wave goodbye to the people on land. This may be our last chance." Sarah asked with a sad smile.  
Sam knew Sarah would deeply miss England. It's where her family and friends resided. Where countless memories had been made.  
"I'd love to. Shall we?" Sam smiled, guiding her down the mildly crowded corridor. As they were nearing the entrance to the deck, Sarah was shoved and smacked right into the wall. Sam panicked and was at her aid in an instant.  
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asked.  
"I'm quite alright." Sarah answered, gripping her right shoulder and glaring at someone behind Sam.  
He helped Sarah stand then turned to see who Sarah was staring so harshly at. It was was a woman who glared right back at Sarah. The woman was captivating. Definitely a woman most men would kill to have by their side. She had bright green eyes, long light brown hair, and a slender frame. She practically oozed confidence.  
"Hello Sarah." She smirked.  
"Good to see you again Bela. Have you lost some weight?" Sarah replied.  
"You two know each other?" Sam asked, dumbfounded.  
"Unfortunately." Sarah answered.  
"How?"  
"We were very close growing up." Bela explained with a sickly sweet smile.  
"Oh please." Sarah scoffed. " Sam let's go. We might catch stupid if we're in Ms. Talbot's presence any longer."  
Sam snorted but refused to leave. "Not yet. She owes you an apology."  
Bela's eyes flicked to Sam and she smiled charmingly, then winked at him. Sam had to force down a laugh that nearly escaped his lips. Her intentions were crystal clear, but she was barking up the wrong tree.  
"Do I?" She queried.  
"Considering you pushed her without reason I'd say yeah. You owe her one."  
"I had my reason."  
"Care to elaborate then?" Sarah demanded.  
"I simply saw something of my liking and went straight for it. You happened to be in the way Sarah."  
"You grotty bint! I will bury you!" Sarah threatened.  
"Okay. Time to go." Sam announced, looping his arm through Sarah's and pulling her away from Bela.  
"Hey! I'm not finished yet." Bela said, grabbing Sam by his coat. He jerked away and did his best to ignore her.  
"You're making a mistake! I could show you things she doesn't know exists."  
Sam and Sarah both stopped in their tracks.  
"Let me handle this alright? I'd rather you not get into another quarrel so soon." Sam said.  
He turned and walked back over to Bela. Sarah following behind.  
"Let me clear this up for you Ms. Talbot. I am an engaged man. I have no interest in you nor will I ever. So I suggest you stop making a scene and leave us alone." Sam said furiously.  
Bela's nostrils flared. She opened her mouth to speak again, but was cut off by a man who seemed to have appeared out of thin air.  
"What's going on now Bela?" He asked.  
Sam took a moment to observe him. His dirty blond hair was short and styled, he had emerald eyes that looked like some you would describe in a fairy tale, a nicely built frame, and he was at least 3 inches shorter than Sam. “Nothing that can’t be resolved without a little persuasion.” Bela answered smoothly, her gaze returning to an annoyed Sam.  
The man rolled his eyes and directed his attention to Sam and Sarah, smiling.  
“I’m Dean Milligan.” Dean said, sticking his hand out to Sam.  
“Sam Winchester.” He replied, shaking Dean’s hand and returning the smile.  
“And how about you, lovely?” He said to Sarah. “What’s your name?”  
“Sarah Blake.” She grinned.  
“A pleasure to meet you both. I apologize for whatever inconvenience Bela has most likely caused the both of you.”  
“That’s very kind of you to apologize on her behalf, but I still expect one from her since she so childishly pushed my fiancé in a failed attempt to hit on me.” Sam briefly explained.  
Dean sighed. “Again, Bela? Jesus Christ. You owe them an apology.”  
“I don’t owe them a thing.” She snapped and stormed off, roughly shoving Dean as she went.  
“I’ll see you soon my darling.” Dean called after her sarcastically.  
“You certainly picked a winner.” Sarah muttered.  
“Sarah!” Sam exclaimed. “Now that was rude.”  
“I’m kind of sorry.” She said to Dean.  
He chuckled. “Don’t be.”  
“I take it you’re used to her pulling stunts like this?” Sam asked.  
“Sadly yes. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.”  
“I know I am stepping out of line by saying this, but I’d have left her by now and you can do better.”  
“Oh don’t spoil the ending just yet, Sam. Anyway, I should be heading off now. Once again, I am truly sorry and if there is anything I can do for the both of you, let me know.”  
“That’s not necessary, but thank you, Mr. Milligan.”  
“Please, call me Dean.”  
Sam nodded and smiled.  
“Have a lovely day, Dean.” Sarah smiled.  
“Likewise.” He replied with a dashing smile, then walked away.  
Sam exhaled slowly and looked at Sarah. “That was definitely an experience.”  
“I’ll say.” She agreed.  
Sam prayed to the Lord that the remainder of this trip would flow by as smoothly as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam stared blankly at his silverware as he waited and waited for supper to end. It was the same, dull chatter that occurred every night. The only thing these people ever talked about was money and how unfortunate people without it are. Sam scoffed nearly every time. Money shouldn’t define a person’s worth. In fact, the hell with money. Sam hated this life. He’d gladly give it away to someone who genuinely wanted it. Despite all of this, Sam did love his family. Well, his mother and Sarah. They were the only people he knew who treated him like a human being. He sighed and drummed his fingers on the table. If only this damn meal would end. Sam wanted to roam the ship and have at least a moment to himself so he could ponder and day-dream of his happily ever after. He longed for freedom and to be able to be himself. He wanted to read every book he could find. He wanted to travel all over the world and meet new people. He wanted to learn more than one language so he could understand different cultures. He wanted to help the world and to save as many people as he could from harm. He wanted to fall in love and maybe start a family when he was good and ready. Unfortunately, he would never be able to escape his father. John Winchester ruined a lot for you if you were of any relation to him. He had rules and if they were not followed to his liking, there were consequences. Sam found that out the hard way at the early age of 5. He had a crescent shaped scar on his abdomen as a sharp reminder of his father’s cruelty. Sam did his best to try and make John proud, but it was never enough. John found the most trivial of things to scold Sam about, such as his shoes not being shined or a wrinkled shirt, or even his hair. It was too long and too queer in John’s eyes. Sam was lucky he didn’t have to cut it, thanks to a little persuasion on his mother’s part. Mary knew of John’s abuse, but she was far too afraid to do anything extra about it. She protected Sam whenever she could. She was usually locked in a room or knocked out while John beat the hell out of their son. Mary tried to leave John many times, but he’d only come after her and threaten to kill her and Sam both if she didn’t return. Mary had no doubt that John would follow through with that and so she returned and stayed out of fear.   
“Samuel?” A voice spoke.  
Sam’s head shot up and he looked around the table to see who called his name.  
“What?” He asked.  
“I asked you what your plans were after the wedding.” Mr. Harvelle, the head of H & J Oil, who is a very important and very wealthy man, asked.  
“Oh.” Sam replied, sitting up straight. “Forgive me sir. I don’t have any plans set in stone as of right now. My father will have something of his choice arranged for me.”  
“Not free to make your own decisions eh Sammy boy?” Mr. Harvelle joked.  
Sam laughed humorlessly and nodded. “I’m afraid not.”  
Mr. Harvelle began chatting up someone else, so Sam resumed what he was previously doing and zoned out. He felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up to see the harsh glare of his father. Sam averted his eyes and sunk lower in his seat. God only knows what he did now.  
“Samuel, I need a moment to speak with you alone.” John commanded.   
“Oh John, can’t it wait?” Mary asked, reaching over to lightly grasp his forearm.   
John sighed in annoyance and nodded, forcing out a smile.  
Sam met his mother’s eyes and silently thanked her. She nodded ever so slightly and smiled, understanding exactly what he was trying to convey.  
“Are you feeling alright, darling?” Sarah asked.  
“I’ve never been better.” He lied.  
“Bullshit. Don’t lie to me, Sammy. I’ve known you my whole life. I’m guessing it’s the big bad wolf?”  
Sam stared down at his hands in his lap and nodded.  
“I don’t understand why you put up with him. He cannot continue hurting you like he does. You are a grown man. It’s time he let you be one.”  
“You know why I put up with him.”  
“If only you’d just let me give him a piece of my mind one day. You could-“  
“No!” Sam shouted.  
The table filled with silence as everyone turned to stare at Sam.  
He cleared his throat. “I apologize. Sarah frightened me. Continue.”  
They immediately returned to their conversations, as if Sam hadn’t been there nor interrupted them at all. He was thankful for it. Sam never minded being ignored. The less spotlight on him, the better.   
“No.” He said again to Sarah.  
“Well why not? I’m not afraid of him.”  
“He’ll hurt you, Sarah. I’ll be damned if I let that happen.”  
“This is unbelievable. Are you going to bow down to his every command forever?”  
“Can we talk about this later? In private?”  
“Sure, Sam.” She rolled her eyes. “I just think it’s wrong how he treats you. I want you to be happy.”  
Moments like that right there is what made Sam feel even worse about himself. Sarah cared so much about him and loved him more than he was able to comprehend. She deserved better than him. He could never love her the way she deserved. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her that though. Maybe deep down she knew. Sarah wasn’t daft.  
Before Sam knew it, supper was over and his father was waiting impatiently for him to get up and follow him out of the dining room. Sam gulped and slowly rose. He was really going to get it this time and he didn’t even know why.


	4. Chapter 4

John didn’t speak until they neared the stern and that worried Sam. He had prepared himself for an earful as soon as they were out of the dining room, but it never came. John could blow up at any given moment and Sam hated that. He hated not knowing when he was going to be hit or screamed at. John stopped abruptly without warning and whipped around to slap Sam. Sam gasped in pain and clutched his left cheek.  
“Have you lost your damn mind?” John demanded.  
“What have I done now?”  
“Your manners tonight were dreadful. You made it appear as if your mother and I failed to properly raise you. You made us all look like Neanderthals.”  
“But-“  
John slapped him again. Sam stumbled back against the railing, only for John to grab him by the collar of his shirt and haul him back. You’d think Sam would be used to this by now, but he wasn’t. Who could honestly get used to years and years of constant abuse?  
“How dare you interrupt me!” John snarled. “That’s the last time you embarrass this family. I’ve worked far too hard and far too long for you to get you where you are. This life I’ve set up for you will insure your survival in this world. The very least you could is show me some gratitude.”  
Sam wrenched himself from John’s grasp and shoved his father back. “I never asked for this life! I don’t want it! It’s what you have and I’m not you. I don’t want to have everything planned out. I want my life to be unpredictable. I want to make my own decisions and be in control of them. And dammit, I want to marry whomever I want, when I want to. How on Earth do you expect me to respect you when you continuously treat me as if I’m still 17? I’m 23. Don’t you think it’s time to let me live my life?” Sam said boldly. “And it’s Sam. Not Samuel.”  
God would Sarah be proud of Sam right now. What he just did was absolutely brave. He knew John’s reaction would be catastrophic. John was expecting Sam to beg for forgiveness, but he was so damn tired of being submissive. John made Sam’s life a living hell for 23 years. There was no way he was going to let it continue. The look in John’s eyes was feral. He looked like he wanted to murder Sam and dump his remains into the Atlantic.  
“Do you want to know what I think?” John asked after another moment of silence.  
Sam waited for him to continue; ready and willing to take anything John hurled his way.  
“I’d snap your neck if we weren’t surrounded by people right. You must think me a fool if you believe you’ll inherit my fortune by going against everything I’ve done for you. What I say goes and you know that.”  
“I don’t give a damn about your money.”  
John’s jaw clenched. “Is that so? Well then, Samuel. I’m going to give you two choices. You can take every bit of what you said back and the consequences won’t be as severe, or, I can alert the master-at-arms and have you locked up and listed as a thief. You’ll be carted off to prison as soon as the ship docks in New York and I can promise you that you’ll never see your mother again.”  
Sam’s heart dropped. John meant every word he’d said and that’s what got to Sam. There wasn’t even a choice now. He had to take back everything he said. His mother couldn’t be left alone with John, nor could Sarah. John was a monster.  
“So which is it?” John asked with a knowing smile.  
It went against everything Sam wanted, everything he knew he deserved. He didn’t care about going to prison. He just couldn’t stand not being able to see his mother again.   
“Answer me, boy.” John barked.  
“I take it back.” Sam muttered.  
“You what?” John asked, smirking in satisfaction.  
Sam rolled his eyes. “I take it back! Alright?”  
“That’s what I thought. I expect to see you out on our promenade awaiting your punishment shortly after my brandy with the gentlemen.”  
“Yes sir.” Sam sighed in defeat.  
There was no possible route around John. None. He was conniving and didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘no.’ That’s how he always got what he wanted.  
“I mean it, Samuel.” John said and walked away.  
Sam leaned against the railing and watched the sea, desperately wishing he could leap off of this God forsaken ship and watch as it left him behind, along with all of his troubles and responsibilities. As tempting as it was at that moment, suicide was never an option Sam fancied. It scared the hell out of him to be honest. He understood where people came from when they wanted to end it all though. Life just gets so hard and it’s difficult to see where you belong, if you even belong. He just wanted to be happy. That was not a lot to ask for. Maybe life would’ve been easier for him had he been born a heterosexual. Sam spent what seemed like forever hating himself because of it, but now, he’s slowly learning to accept it. He’s learning to accept himself and it’s almost liberating. No, it _is_ liberating. There’s no sense in fighting something that can’t be changed.   
Sam turned away from his view and began walking further towards the stern, only to trip on his shoe lace and collide face first with the deck.   
“Seriously?” Sam groaned.  
“Need a hand there, chucklehead?” A man asked once Sam had managed to get on his knees.  
“Yes. Thank you.” Sam said, grasping the hand outstretched towards him.   
He looked up and froze, jaw going slack. The man was impossibly handsome. He had a kind, yet mischievous look on his face. His grip was gentle and his hand was much smaller than Sam’s. He had stunning amber eyes and the smirk on his face would have sent Sam to his knees had he not already been on them.   
“Are you gonna stand up and introduce yourself or are you gonna stay on your knees? Fair warning though, I never engage in coitus on the first date.” He winked.  
Sam’s face was as red as a ruby. Why did he have to be so damn awkward?  
“I uh… I… Yeah I’m gonna stand. No uh, no need for any further confusion.” Sam quickly replied, fumbling over his words.   
He stood up as fast as he could, still holding onto the man’s warm hand.  
“Don’t hurt yourself kiddo. I’m tame, for now.” He smiled playfully.  
Sam whimpered and mentally kicked himself. He felt like such a git.   
The man chuckled and began to shake Sam’s hand. “I’m Gabriel Novak. What’s your name handsome?”  
“Sam W-Winchester.” He stuttered, his voice moving up an octave, releasing Gabriel’s hand.   
“Well Sam Winchester. Care to walk with me around this ship so we can be better acquainted?”  
Sam instantly grinned. He probably seemed overly eager, but who cares when it’s because of a handsome man wanting to spend some time with him.  
“I’d love that.” Sam nodded.


End file.
